A Message to Anti-Feminists

Anti-feminism tells me that men are better than women. It tells me that women don’t deserve to be paid equally to men. It tells me that God calls men to pastor and preach, but not women. It tells me that women should not be allowed to vote, and that violence and sexual harassment in the workplace are perfectly acceptable. Anti-feminism tells me that marital rape is not actually rape — I mean how could a husband rape his wife if her purpose is to meet his every need? Anti-feminism tells me to disregard Philippians 4:13, because only men can do all things through Christ; after all, a man wrote it.

Basically, you can be one of three things:

  1. A patriarchist
  2. A misandrist
  3. A feminist/egalitarian

A patriarchist believes that men are better than women, a misandrist believes that women are better than men, and a feminist believes that men and women are completely equal. So, when you say, “I’m not a feminist” or “I don’t consider myself to be a feminist,” I hear, “I believe men are better than women” or “I believe women are better than men.”

When a woman denounces feminism because she doesn’t hate men … well, I just assume she’s super confused, because feminism has nothing to do with man-hating. Feminism isn’t about women being better or more powerful than men, it’s simply about men and women having the same opportunities, support, and respect. 

I honestly believe that most of these “anti-feminist” women mean no harm, they’re just ignorant. They don’t know about the women that struggled over the past thousands of years, and they don’t care to learn. They are perfectly content reaping the benefits of being a privileged woman in a modern society. They dare not step outside of their own safe bubble to walk a mile in another woman’s shoes, a woman who is still fighting for her own basic human rights. 

If you are so against feminism, let your words match your actions and kindly shut your mouth, because feminism is the reason you even have a voice. Without feminism, you wouldn’t be able to write your anti-feminism articles, or post those cutesy anti-feminism memes on your Facebook page. You think that women are seen as objects now? Without feminism, you would literally be owned by your father, husband, or closest male relative. Without feminism, your birth would have been a disappointment to your parents. In fact, in most of Asia, it still would be.

So, before you post another “funny” anti-feminist meme, I encourage you to take five minutes to remember those who came before you. Think of Emily Davison, a feminist who literally died for women’s rights. Think of Alice Paul and Mary Church Terrell, who dedicated their lives to making sure that women would get the right to vote in U.S. elections.

But also think of the millions of women struggling at this very moment. Think of the hundreds of thousands of baby girls aborted in China because their parents prefer to have a male heir. Think of the women in Saudi Arabia that aren’t even allowed to drive cars. Think of the women in the global south where having a miscarriage can cost you 40 years in prison. Think of the women all over the world that are being imprisoned, tortured, and executed for speaking out about women’s rights. 

Those “funny” memes might not be so funny after all.

And maybe, despite your hesitations, you are a feminist.


13 thoughts on “A Message to Anti-Feminists

  1. Thank you so much for writing this! I was about to write something similar until I stumbled across this post, and you said it much better than I could have. I work in a small company in a very male-dominated field. I get to witness what I like to call “passive sexism” almost every day–little comments here and there mostly meant to be funny. It’s sad, because most of the men (and sometime women themselves) who make these comments don’t even realize how offensive they truly are.
    Your post is awesome and I really hope that we as people can move more towards gender equality, especially in countries where women can’t speak their minds or even protect themselves.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m heartbroken that you believe this about yourself and even worse, that God thinks this about you. These are lies from the enemy, my sister! You are a strong warrior and I hope you will realize that one day. God bless!


  2. I don’t believe you actually entirely understand feminism right now. You can hold up your dictionary and cry about what it says feminism is, but it’s a movement. It isn’t shaped by a dictionary, it’s shaped by the people leading it. A lot of people who say they don’t identify with feminism say so because they don’t agree with the current femist movement. You can’t equivocate first wave feminism to third wave feminism. First wave feminism acquiring voting rights for women isn’t a support for third wave feminism. First wave feminism actually meant something. Compare the women you talked about in your post to the current feminist leaders, like Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn (who were sent to the UN as leaders of your movement.) Pretty stark contrast, right? But it isn’t just the leaders of the movement that cause people to shun the word. So many current feminists are bullies and hypocrites. They’re a vicious, hateful, and discriminatory lot. But they keep making the same arguments you do about how the people who refuse to call themselves feminists must be patriarchists, misadrists, or ignorant. Here’s an idea: if you want people to take your movement seriously, renounce the people and ideas that make it such a joke, and focus on where inequalities exist. Work at getting rights for women in oppressed countries instead of complaining on the internet about man spreading. Because many anti-feminists actually do agree with you on many things. But instead of addressing the issues that prevent them from feeling comfortable with the word feminist, you attack them for not blindly accepting the movement based on the past accomplishments of a completely separate movement. Basically, you are the reason there are girls (like me) who don’t want to call themselves a feminist.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think it’s kind of shallow to not identify with something because of a few bad apples. You say feminists are hateful and hypocrites, but how many hateful feminists do you know? I have yet to meet one hateful feminist myself. And even if you have met a few, is that really enough for you to generalize that feminism is hateful or “meaningless.” The KKK leaders are hateful yet call themselves Christians. Donald Trump is hateful yet calls himself a Christian. There are Christian leaders like Doug Wilson, that oppress women and protect abusers. People look at this and say, “There must be something wrong with Christianity. I think I’ll be an atheist and just do good things and help people.” But just like the problem isn’t with actual Christianity, the problems you talk about aren’t about actual Feminism. There are still problems in America. Only 9% of evangelical pastors are women. Why? Because the Christian church (along with other organizations) discriminate against women based solely on their gender. Women are not respected. Look at the porn industry, human trafficking, etc. Men need feminism. Look at how boys are being raised to be tough and not show emotion. I encourage you to rethink your stance. Rethink all of the false stereotypes. The reason I think people shouldn’t be anti-feminists is because it hurts the feminists that aren’t hateful and are fighting for things that matter. Man hating feminism is a small group compared to true feminism. I’m not attacking anyone. I simply want women to know the truth about feminism instead of giving into the lies.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Today’s feminists have ruined what feminism was originally designed for. Today’s feminists are entitled idiots that have no clue as to what feminism actually is. These morons use the concept of feminism to routinely make fools of themselves. Our brave sisters that fought for what’s really important must be rolling over in their graves.


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