Marriage & Misandry (Guest Post by Kelly Blazier)

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

About a month ago, I married my best friend.

He showed up in his suit and dapper little bow tie; I picked a poofy white dress.

View More: http://brittanybrookephoto.pass.us/kentkelly

We decided to have our first look “off location,” and drove back to the church to prepare for the ceremony. People were already seating themselves in the sanctuary, and it was at that point I thought, “I would only do this for him.” Thirty minutes later I stood on a raised platform, sweating in places I didn’t know allowed that particular function, and affirmed in front of God and all our friends and family what I had been saying all along: This is the one. 

Except…

Wait. I have to be honest with you. I didn’t say that all along. For most of my life, actually, I was very “against” men. What does that mean? (Hint: I’m not a lesbian). In the simplest terms, it means I didn’t trust them. I thought every one of them thought they could take advantage of me. I thought they were all convinced they were smarter/better/stronger /cooler, etc., etc. I resented them for crimes they had never committed.

Then I met Kent. I met him in 7th grade, but we didn’t date until college. In middle school, he told me he would prove all guys weren’t the same. At the time I thought, “Bring it on.” But he has done that and so much more. Of course, you can’t base your opinions of an entire class of people on one person (that’s what got me into trouble in the first place!), but Kent has been able to help guide me on the path to loving more. He reminds me that we’re all broken because of the fall, and now we have to let Jesus pick us up and put us back together. 

Hindsight is 20/20, and that’s probably the most aggravating blessing ever. I look back now and see I was so busy figuring out who to hate, I didn’t spend any time loving. I was so focused on becoming stronger, faster, tougher, less emotional, and more private—attributes praised in men—because I wanted to be considered equal. I look back now and see equality is not about women becoming like men. It’s both genders bringing their strengths and weaknesses to the table, laying them down and saying, “You’re a mess? Me too. Let’s help each other.”

I like the fact that I didn’t truly become a feminist until I stopped hating men. It’s a concept that stands in stark contrast to what the world might tell you feminism is: misandry. And as someone who has lived in the darkness and then the light—I can tell you—the light is a lot more fun. 

View More: http://brittanybrookephoto.pass.us/kentkelly*Photos by Brittany Brooke Photo Art Design

 

Kelly Blazier is trying to finish college, find a new Mexican restaurant to try, and convince her new husband to let her get a new puppy, in reverse order. She thinks feminism is not a dirty word and should be spoken of more often in the church. She enjoys long walks by the pool (not the beach) because sometimes the beach smells and the pool is a shorter walk anyway. Read her blog at precariosities.com

Blazier 026.jpg*Photos by Brittany Brooke Photo Art Design

 

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